KiLLiNg Me!!

Ur Words have taken its toll on me..

u NEVA fail to kill me wid it..

i dun mind if ur angry or mad..

But please, dun just attack!

To think u could even have dat kinda tots of me!

for 7 years stil, NO, u dunno me..

How could u even let it run thru ur mind?

Have your eyes and heart gone blind???

Do Wadeva u want now..

Say wadeva u want now..

Ur life still remains norm..

Cuz it makes no difference if im here or not..

Gonna pick up the pieces of my broken heart..

To mend it and sew it all up..

Now dat i have enuf, i dun wish to have more..

So dun make me close one more door!

... Im Sorry ...

Im SORRY...

for hurting u over n over agen..

for my attitude..

for not giving u the attention dat u want..

for not being the type of lady dat u like..

for not being able to fullfill ur wishes..

for not respecting u and ur decisions..

for not being der wen u need me..

for d things i did and did not..

for d things i said and dont..

for not sacrificing certain things..

for not able to give u all dat u want..

Im SORRY...

for my SINS towards you..

for the mistakes ive did..

Though, u hurt me by ur EGO..

Though, u hurt me by ur attitude..

Though, u hurt me by "u noe wad"

Though, ur MISTAKES and SINS are BIGGER den mine..

Den wad i did..

But STILL, im SORRY..

Im not PERFECT...

U have hurt me.. i have hurt u..

we have hurt each other..

But i dunno y, i can still forgive u even to the BIGGEST mistake u've made..

n this must have been LOVE..

the LOVE dat lives with me for 7 years..

Hoping that you'd undastan dis love..

Dat is still standing strong facing all challenges..

Just to be with you..

And i BELIEVE dat u will get it..

Wen u noe, my LOVE is til eternity..

Sayings...

There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at crossroads.

AFRAID. CONFUSED.

Without a roadmap.

The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days.

Of course, when we faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back.

But, once in awhile, people just push on to something better.

Something found just beyond the pain of going it alone.

And just beyond the bravery and courage it takes to let someone in.

Or to give someone a second chance.

Something beyond the quiet persistence of a dream.

Because its only when you're tested, that you truly discover who you are.

And its only when you're tested, that you discover who you can be.

The person you want to be does exist.

Somewhere on the otherside of hardwork and faith and belief.

And beyond the HEARTACHE and fear of what lies ahead.

Child Care Over..

see the title for dis post? yesh its over! its been a week dat all 3 kids were at ma crib... ameli, nazry n ahkshah.. n dats d reason y i din blog.. bin sooo sooo tired.. i skipped my gym agen!! bin 2 weeks oreadi! haiz... besides OT, i will rush home to entertain these kids.. i mean like im willin to sacrifice ah.. cuz its not always dat dey will be here wid us.. only during school hols.. i played wid dem.. cooked for dem.. brot dem out.. it was fun! "its not easy bein a mum u noe..." :P

I was soooo into them, dat even baby felt left out... :( im sori b... but i dun mean too.. u do noe how these kids are with thier own family.. so wen dey are back in ma crib, d whole family tried thier best to give dem ertin.. besides love and care.. tings dat dey want and all.. ur not bein left out.. its juz dat i gave more attention to dem for dat whole week... but now they are back to thier home.. so u will have my full attention! "A T T E N T I O N!" *stand up straight wid d salute hands!* :P

n i felt so guilty now for not goin to d gym for 2 WEEKS oreadi! got to work more this week wen im not doin OT.. must motivate myself!

today is beloved ayah's birthday.. n tmr is father's day! its always a double celebration for ayah every year!!! n dis year, bof me n baby bot him a gift! normally we will juz go eat out and celebrate.. cuz dats wad ayah wants.. he dowan anytin except treat him to food... but since mak got jemputans dis week, we couldnt eat out.. so decided to get him a gift instead.. baby fetched me from work yesterday.. we went to sim lim... searched for the mini tv iphone.. we got a gd deal ah.. wid few free gifts.. but d disappointment is dat, it doesnt rili act like an iphone.. whereas, ameli's one did! hers was exactly like an iphone! haiz...

went back to ma home after sim lim.. passed ayah his gift.. he was soooo HAPPY! aft so long seh!! sape tak hapi! asik blanje makan je.. perot pun naik boncit kan ayah? d moment he open d bag, he shouted to ameli.. " ameli!!! look wad i got!!" haha!! da mcm bdk2!!! he straightaway put his sim card in and meddle wid it.. dats wer i discover it doesnt act like an iphone.. but ayah say nvm.. as long can msg n kal.. he ok already... :)

had dinner wid baby.. bof da kelaparan.. den we sent ameli n akhshah back.. will be sending nazry today before we head to woodlands.. da sunyi la nanti rumah.. :( hopefully, dis december all 3 kids wil get to spend thier hols again wid us before i got hitched! dats wad ameli told me too.. :) so sweet of her...

meanwhile, im waiting for baby to kal me soon.. his lunch break... daaaaa.......

........

hey hey hey... juz came back from town wid ameli n indah... took half day today... at last! after soooo long! i took my leave.. went for facial.. den off to town... bought NOTHING!!! UNBELIEVABLE eh!! super controlling!!!

June holidays means "child care" in ma home... nazry is back.. so is ameli n akshah.. mak fening kepala jaga dorang.. but its fun! wid kids in da house.. kecoh kecoh!!! tmr, goin JB wid dem all...

Hmmmm... nothing much to blog lately.. been doin OT dis week.. physically TIRED! didnt go gym also for dis whole week!!! haiz... wadeva it is... im SO HAPPY wid life and lurve!!! :)

klah... wil update wen der is anytin to update ok!!



"sha la la.. its so nice to be happy.. sha la la..."

Jalan Jalan..

Its always so nice to spent my weekends wid baby.. wid his new job, we have alot of time together.. super happy!! :) went to town again today.. saje je jalan jalan.. since no plans.. n its GSS.. so wanna see how crazy the sale is!!

went to COACH.. 30% off!! baby say its worth it!!! my eyes caught on one new bag... ;) now contemplating.. hmmm.. oh not only dat!! bof me n baby been contemplating on changing hp!! n if we rili change our hp, dis is d 1st time dat we change in a short time!! our current hp is only 6 months old! ishk! iPhone, LG arena and E71 are in our minds.. cant decide.. dunno how long gonna take for us to decide tho!! haha!!!

On friday, baby shopping! heee.. he fetched me from work.. den we went tampines.. PUMA having sale.. 2 shoes for 60bux! dats darn cheap ok! baby found his soccer boots, BUT!! he couldnt find another pair of shoes.. n its wasted la if he buy only dat boots, they wil charge him for 40bux.. den baby decide not to buy.. kesian dia.. da takde boot bola.. i went to faceshop to buy for mak the cleansing gel n left baby at the puma sale.. wen i went back, ewah! dia da pegang one sweater and one pants!! bukan main lagi... den i dun rili like d pants dat he chose.. so i go find find a better one.. n baby likes it.. so settled! we make the payment.. super crowded.. cannot tahan!

the GSS is oklah.. can see alot of sales.. the sales goin crazy and im GOIN crazy controlling!!! *pffft* hoping so much dat i wun spent unnecessarily dis time round tho im so tempted ah.. insya'Allah, i can work this out!! u go Lynda!!!

Birthdays!!!!

heeee.. alot of birthday parties goin on.. but no no.. not adults parties.. but babies and kids parties.. and its a family affair.. yesterday, went to abg long's crib.. its batrisyia's birthday party.. did a last minute gift shopping for her!! disastrous!! fening!!

went to facial yesterday wid kak di.. she brot nadia along agen.. smp tertido nadia tunggu kita.. so cute! after facial la, we start hunting for isha's gift.. mcm nak rak!! tot of gettin her a dress.. den cannot find a nice one.. den i sooooo like this guess kids shoes... dey are having sale some more!! skali its pig skin lining!!!! darn! den sibuk cari gift isya, sibuk aku sempat tgk baju kat guess kids.. and i fit to one of d dress la!!!! im not dat fat after all eh b!!! i can stil buy clothes at the kids store! hmph!

den went to fox, esprit and others.. stil cant find d one.. last2, went to toys'r'us.. aku yg deprived!! it makes me more rushing wen ayah called and said dat he and mak have reached abg long's place!! tapi anaknya masih kat united square!!! den baby stil at home..!! *sheesh* i called baby and asked him to make his way to abg long's.. i quickly grab for isha d most suitable game for her.. its called tumble if i got it rite.. den hailed cab, and off we go!!!

wen we reached void deck, eh!! baby pun baru smp!! padahal kita dari novena to woodlands.. dia dari marsiling to woodlands!!! *speechless*.. nasib mak n ayah ok.. cuz da used to abg long's family and baby's mum..people came pouring in by 7pm.. ayah sempat karoake.. he sang 2 songs.. request by baby's family... haha!!! den parents went off cuz ayah got jemputan after maghrib.. but i stayed...

KECOH!! karoake la.. main UNO la.. sibuk barbeque.. sibuk steamboat.. da mcm kat seoul garden.. haha! n guess wad i did?? exercise la siol!! cuz kak mar's fren, is a fitness instructor.. den we talked talked, and she assist me on how to shred d fats at the respective area dat i want!! kak di join in!! it was sooooo funny!! and baby ketawa kan!!! but of cos we did it in d room ah.. eh but it works ah somehow.. cuz after doin wad was told, aku nak terberak!!! so kak su (the instructor), told me to try and do it on ma own at home.. if needs help, juz holla her! she said, i juz need to tone up a LIL! and *she wink wid thumbs up*.. ur body gon be sooo perfect! fuh! tak sabar nya!! haha!! but tolong! discipline skit lynda eh!!!

baby send me back at 11.30.. he so nantuk oreadi.. he slept over at ma crib on fri nite.. we went mustafa wid ma folks at 12midnite on fri.. den by the time balik mustafa, den went for late supper, its oready 3 am.. so ayah asked him to slip over... den tak cukup tdo cuz he woke up early on sat cuz need to send me to novena for facial.. moreover, today he's workin.. have to wake up early...

Today's task : lipat kain, kemas bilik, kemas baju, gosok baju.. (laundry woman)

Once everything done, and parents da balik jemputan.. will be goin to spore expo for the john lil sale!! duit lagi!!! *aaaarggghh*