Errands.

On fri aft work.. had dinner wid het at raffles place.. our BIAN MEE!!! took dinner to kill time.. cuz i have an appointment wid kak mar(photographer for ma wedd) at ard 8... we stil have time aft dinner.. so decided to find a gift for baby Dameer.. (baby's latest addition to the fam..his nephew)... i bought for him a set of baby rompers together wid the socks n snow cap! cute la!! cannot tahan! me n het were like soooo into these kids clothings.. we were even askin if dey have a big size for us! wth? haha!

den we proceed to spore expo.. to the pameran cuz kak mar is there at the booth... straightaway went to the booth n looked for her.. looked at the pictures and all.. actually have already made a bookin wid her, its juz dat we havent signed the contract yet.. het was like so excited for me! n indeed for herself!! haha!! she like tak sabar nak kawin! very funny la.. n together wid kak mar team mates, our table is the most kecoh! even the boss comes n join us! and the best thing is... i got FURTHER discount!!! yes ah!! thanks to kak mar!!! weeeee!!!

den we jln2 awhile inside to see the kebaya nyonya... very nice leh!! n very cheap oso.. me n het da sibuk nak color tu color ni.. she even exchange number wid d salesperson la!! cuz dat indon lady told us they will be at geylang for the fasting month.. so het dowan to give dis a miss!! haha!
den we waited for khai(het's bf) to fetch us.. den they sent me back home...

sampai rumah je... start ah!! calculation!! apa lagi!!! slagi lum kawin, slagi tu la keje aku asik kira je!! da leh jadi accountant tau!

n yesterday, het n khai came over to ma plc.. i was stil feelin down den.. it was so sweet n nice of them.. n it was so understanding for khai... super understanding guy.. they even brought me lunch... ate togeder wid dem.. looked at ma engagement n hari raya fotos.. n khai made some funny remarks.. haha!!! ting tong!!!

at ard 5.15.. we went out.. i had to drive over to baby's place to fetch kak di n mak.. het n khai made thier way back to tampines.. my! im rili greatful to have this kinda frens.. :) reached abg long's place and saw the cute lil baby dameer.. soooo tiny n adorable!!! wid d black n spikey hair!! haha.. n as usual.. i wouldnt dare to carry a new born baby... not even to juz put them on ma lap... NO WAY!! they are way tooo fragile for me!!! and.. i had dis wish.. i wouldnt dare to carry is one thing.. another thing is, i would love to carry ma own baby.. as in to have the 1st time experience carrying a new born baby.. let it be ma own baby.. :)

and insya'Allah... dat wil be like 2 yrs from now? we leave it to FATE and GOD alright.. :)

Kish n Make Up...

:).. im all SMILES now..! first foremost, i would like to thank those who have been der for me since d start! who have neva given up on me.. to those who were willing to go to the extra mile for me... i appreciate it alot... only GOD can repay all d kindness in u.. (da mcm speech angkat award)... muahahah!!

met baby yday aft 2 weeks!!! super MISH him i tel u!!! d moment he saw me yesterday at his crib, he was super startled! cuz he was sleepin.. n i din wana disturb him.. but his mum kip wakin him up.. so i juz went over to his room to take a peek... n it was so coincidence dat he was tossing ard, n he saw me standing rite infront of him! terkejut dia kejap!! n as usual.. his smile.. MELTS ertin in me.. :)

we started to pinch each oder aft dat.. d way we showed our anger yg tak dpt dilepaskan dgn cara kasar.. haha! but i pinched him more ah! infact, i tink he din get to pinch me at all dis time round! oh n we skipped the pillow war!! last time, we had dat.. we were bashing each oder up wid d pillows... at least we get to vent our anger on this silly things.. den in moments like dis, he wil usually grab ma hand or juz grab ma neck..n hug me..togeder wid a peck on the forehead.. ALWAYS!! from then on, it will settle all d mishaps dat we bin having.. den we wil be back to our normal self.. but of cos, terlebih manja ah dis time round.. 2 weeks hella time babe!!!

he kip kissing ma forehead.. kissing ma hand.. we kip apologising for each oder's mistakes.. saying i love u n miss u every now n den.. it is a super nice feeling.. to feel his comfort,love,warmth,hugs n kisses agen, ders nothing more to ask for!

*i Lurve u baby.. i really do...*

2 Weeks.

Its been 2 weeks. No News. No Nothing.

Been enduring..n now patience is running out.. Nothing left. NONE!

Quiet doesnt means FREEDOM. To do wadeva u want. Wadeva u like.
Silence doesnt means LOSING. It aint a Competition niway in the 1st place.

Wise and Matured Enuf to Tink. Is Dis All Worth It?

Nothing More To Say. Nothing More To Do.
U can Choose to Continue Living Ur Life Dis Way.
N i Shall Take My Leave.
Cuz i Neva Wanna Lead Dis Kinda Life. N u Knew It.

During ur SHIT, i only gave u A Week to reconcile. But because of dis small ting, U ignored me totali. If u tink its FAIR, u tink agen. WISELY!


Enuf is Enuf NOW. Dun Make Me Close One More Door.

N.I.G.H.T.M.A.R.E

I was awakened by my NIGHTMARE in d middle of the nite!! i was disappointed,angry, shouting and crying in the dream!

Nightmare was about HISTORY repeating! YOU did it AGEN! it juz felt so real! n i was so scared dat its all happening even in d dream!! Aftermath, i couldnt continue wid ma sleep! i was even CRYING in reality! kip tinkin abt it.. yes, i know dis is all surreal..im hallucinating.. but knowing for d fact dat i eva went thru dis SHIT, im juz so afraid and i lost all confidence dat i have in me..

Dis is rili haunting me.. something dat i din wish n hope for.. i am so so AFRAID.. n all dis is because of YOU! n yet you are doin dis to ME! Im tired of doin ma PART all dis years.. now its all up to you..


*IT TAKES 2 HANDS TO CLAP.*

F.E.A.R

Juz now.. while otw back from work.. in d train... suddenly all flashbacks haunt me agen! how could it even appear? imagine im stucked in d middle, wid all sort of human beings ard me.. d train is so packed... different kinds of odour.. n this flashbacks still come without me inviting them in!

so can u just see and understand?? dat memories, be it good or bad, dey wunt be easily erased from ur life.. lagi lagi the ones which affected ur life so much! it aint easy people.. trust me its not gonna be easy.. haiz...

besides flashbacks.. i had dis kinda fear too.. afraid dat HISTORY will REPEAT by itself agen... be it by itself or it happens by stupidity! im jus so afraid... dunno if i have the courage and strength to go thru all dat agen by myself...

this was wad i felt throughout my whole journey back home.. i didnt even talk to ayah while walkin back from the station... :(

Right now, i try to cast aside all dat tots.. cuz im kinda excited for tmr.. after work, gonna settle some wedding preps wid mum.. n maybe do a lil shopping wid her? ;)

Ya Allah.. Dear God.. gimme the chance to go on wid life, strength to go thru all ur tests, and may u blessed me wid d happiness dat i deserve.. insya'Allah... AMIN.

Hmmm...

haiz... dunno wad to do.. dunno wad to say.. alot of tings been goin on.. in life, in mind... wont be blogging often.. got mood den blog.. no mood, juz shuddup!

hands are itching to SHOP!!! how to control?? tel me! im stil so tempted as it is to get the iphone! at the same time, i want to shop for jeans..out of stock liao! no more jeans at home! den..soon have to collect my hari raya clothes oready from the tailor.. money agen! n tink i have to buy new shoes n bag for dis year cuz i dun have any white shoes and bag to go wid ma new clothes! haiz! tel me la!! how to control all this tings! sheeeeesh! headache eh.. so much i try to prioritize the main ones, but stil wil "peng" abit to the unneccessary stuffs.. lemme see my breakdown..

facial.. fully paid!
credit card bills.. paid!
gym.. monthly instalment.. paid!

alhamdulillah.. now tryin hard to save much more! so i can use the extra money to shop or even to add stuffs to ma wedding preps... :) insya'Allah...

been keepin maself quiet lately.. but thankful, im showered wid family's and fren's attention.. :)

and to YOU! for how long??

UnAppreCiated!

im feelin unappreciated
u've taken my love for granted
and i dunno how much more
i cant take from u..

u dont do the tings u used to do
u dont even say "i love u too"
and lately, ive been feelin
UNAPPRECIATED.

woke up dis mornin and saw ur face
and u din look d same as yesterday
i got d feelin dat u cant seem to see
wad u want to be..

and lately it aint been d same at all
wen ur here its like im invisible
i stil cant seem to see where i went wrong
cause im feelin.. really unappreciated.

lately our house is not a home
u come in, take a shower n say.."im gone"
wad am i to do? wen ma heart says leave
but my feet wont move!

and its gonna be our anniversary
and u havent even say 2 words to me
im tryin hard to give u anoder chance
but baby.. im feelin unappreciated.

wen i first met u
i tot u was d most perfect man dat i ever seen
and i stil dun undastan why u treat me like u do
i use to give in to ur lies but now i see d truth!

i dowan to hear it, im through
yeah, i noe i'll stil be missing u
but its not worth the pain dat ive gained from u
u make me feel unappreciated!

dont love me no more...
im feelin really unappreciated.

Syurga Cinta.

PHEW!!! its like at last siak i get to upload pics!! wth?! the creator of blogger, PLEASE DO SUMTIN!!! ok.! saw dos pics up der?!? wooohooo!! its my AWAL ASHAARI!!! its bcuz of him n his latest movie eh dat i neva say die to try n upload these pics!!muahahah!!

ok ppl.. have u watched SYURGA CINTA? sud watched la babe!! besides love, der is about religion also.. awal, hadziq(d lil boy) and heliza are d main casts.. hadziq add humour to it.. awal n heliza add love to it.. its about awal who changed for d better because of LOVE!!! he met heliza who is a modern tudung woman but she still prioritize religion.. n dats wad makes awal fall for her.. shud watch shud watch!!!

haiz... if only im d woman dat awal proposed.. i sanggup tinggalkan christiano ronaldo i!!! hmmm... he is so awal-licious!!! cuba tgk bape nya encem dia kat atas tu!!!!!!!!

Stoooopid!!!

aargghhh!!! first, songs from imeem is not fully played!! now, cant even upload pics to blogger!! WTF?!?!?! so infuriating!!!! no mood to blog already!!!! sheeesh!

JB nite.

Out to JB last nite wid ma family.. Caught in a lil jam at BKE after woodlands ave 3.. but the jam is not related to alot of cars!! its because they closed the route slope up to the custom!!! stooopid! dunno y ah dey close dat road.. dat causes the jam cause all have to "peng" and use the other route..after we've cleared dat part, there were no cars towards custom!! FREEE!!!!! happy! abg was driving den at dat time..

Went to GIANT southern city.. mak shopped her groceries.. nothing much tho cuz we kip hurrying mak to make it quick! sume da lapar!!!! proceed to our usual place.. pasar borong... super packed eh! can see most are all singaporeans.. had our super late dinner.. ordered ketupat wid rendang. SUPERB! 20 satays! DELICIOUS! maggi goreng for both me n abg.. roti nan for ayah..mak ate the ketupat wid rendang..

Met quite a number of people.. my aunt.. my uncle.. n abg fad (as explained in my old entry, he's d oldest n longest anak angkat of my mum).. abg fad was wid his family too.. talked a lil before we entered d wet market.. den mak n ayah borong DURIAN!! dey wil neva get enuf of dis KING OF FRUIT! we bot 12 biji! mak wanted to get 20!! but i said,NO! she bin having it eversince the season is here! tak cukup kat spore, kat JB pun boleh! *sheesh!*

Bought a few dvds den me n abg bot our IMITATION ray ban! LOL! baby got his original! hmph! :P ouh.. we bot for kak nor oso.. she kirim.. left pasar borong ard 12+.. my turn to drive.. lucky traffic is ok.. no jam at all.. reached home ard 1+.. den dvds tertinggal kat kreta! ishk!

Now waiting for abg to reach home wid d dvds since he used d car to work.. later can dvd marathon liao!!! after maghrib today, ayah treating us to dinner!! to celebrate his belated birthday cum father's day.. and conjuction wid baby's birthday!! baby n kak nana joining in oso.. d moment dat i oways love to be in.. SIX OF US TOGETHER!! =)

Happy Birthday Baby!!!

Had a small celebration at his crib..It was a SURPRISE for him.. He din noe dat im coming over.. he tot dat i got no plans or wad so eva... mana boleh?! bday seh!! gila pe takde plan?? ish! but memang pun ah takde.. i juz tot of surprising him.. tu je plan aku.. haha!!! im lost wid ideas!

Reached his place yesterday at 3.30.. i rushed like hell! cuz i wanna be der before he reached.. i rushed to cosway pt first to buy his cake.. den head to his home.. prepared ertin.. d cake.. n his pressie.. n d best thing.. kak di n kak no joined in d fun!! haha! dorang siap tiup kan balloons! den ada party hat lagi!! haha!! so kecoh!!!

i kip on lighting the candle.. den blew it off again.. cuz baby tak sampai2 umah! sampai candle da pendek eh!!! n at last.. nearly 4pm.. i heard.. "assalamualaikum..".. my heart beating fast! DEN....
*he opened d door*.. n i shouted.. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!".. he was damn shocked! sampai terpekik! it was super funny la!!

i passed him his gift.. he was so so speechless.. cuz he dowan me to spend so much... nevertheless, he is so happy n pleased wid all dis... =) it paid off my hardwork...

n d rest.. let the clip say it all... please dun mind my high pitch n irritating voice.. as normal.. aku yg slalu excited! haha!!!

pictures are uploaded in facebook.. ;)

*


*Happy Birthday Sayang..May all ur wishes come true..N may we be happy, blessed n have a blissful life togeder.. insya'Allah.. ive watched u grow, n i hope we will grow old togeder.. i love u b.. i rili do... mmmmmuaaah!*